Imran Khan Baloch – Nicely written – Let’s check mistakes

It is said that honesty is the best policy.However, it is on of the actions which lead man to danger, poverty and destruction. An honest person is always found penniless, for that he always finds clear and crystal ways of living his life.An honest people is also punished for such honesty that brings trouble for a dishonest person.The honest person never develops because he believes in hard working and tries only to meet his basic needs.Hence,honesty is not the best policy in today’s world.

Two mistakes are there (check the image)

The color part is not clear

 

Editing and explaining the mistakes -“Honesty is the best policy”

One of the group members have written the below paragraph on

“Honesty is the best policy”

Honesty is the best policy provided those people around us are honest. In most instances those around us are not too honest. An honest person will always think that everyone he encounters is equally or more honest than him. A dishonest person usually tells lies with the hope of immediate short financial gain. The honest person believes the lies as truth thus parting away hard earned cash. There is an old chinese saying “honesty may lead to poverty and calamity.” Do you still subscribe to the naived belief that honesty is the best policy?

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Here is the edited paragraph now:-

Honesty is the best policy provided people around us are honest. In many instances few people around us are not too honest. An honest person will always think that everyone he encounters is equally or more honest than him. A dishonest person usually tells lies with the hope of immediate short financial gain. The honest person believes the lies as truth thus parting away hard earned cash. There is an oldChinese saying “honesty may lead to poverty and calamity.” Do you still subscribe to the naïve belief that honesty is the best policy?

 

Also Read:-

100+ ways to improve English Grammar 

Explaining the mistakes:- Topic “Ultimate Goal of Life”

Topic to edit:-

The ultimate goal of life.

Every individual has a big goal in life namely ultimate goal.One who moves heaven and earth in order to achieve it ,Even the whole universe will conspire in order to make one’s dream come true.On the other hand,one with no clear goals is like a man who is still unknown to his dream .Hence,whatever once you have dreamt, come what may,struggle to achieve it.
(Israr Brohi)

 

 

Mistakes in the sentence:-
1. Don’t add “one” twice in a sentence.
Write only when necessary
2. Don’t change “one” to “yours” in a single sentence
3. Write short sentences

 

Edited content

Every individual has a big goal in life namely ultimate goal.One who moves heaven and earth in order to achieve it. Even the whole universe will conspire in order to make one’s dream come true.On the other hand, one with no clear goals is like a man who is still unknown to his dream .Hence, once you have dreamt, come what may,struggle to achieve it.
(Israr Brohi)

Read:- Improve your English Grammar with 175+ tips : Read here 

Edited and explained mistakes of “Importance of Education” by Israr Aslam

Nicely written, but there are basic mistakes, which I have highlighted below

 

Let’s now the mistakes

  • Scope of education is a different thing. We say, education has a lot of scope.
  • “AND “YET” can’t be used together.
  • Progressing educational institutions ? (It looks vague)
  • Sentences don’t start with “WITH” OR “WITHOUT”
  • In the last 4-5 lines, write things in present sentences as they are continuously happening.
  • Create short sentences. Use “comma” when required.

Overall good.  Keep it up

Editing the mistakes of Shani S.

My name is Shani. It’s not my real name my family like to call me by this name and i live in Pakistan and i proud to be a Pakistani…
I just recently passed my graduation and now i’m looking for farther studies that’s all

 


Very well written, but there are few minor mistakes

Tips to follow

  • Write short sentences separated by comma and full stop
  • “My family” is a singular noun, so verb will always be “singular”
  • Always write “I” in capital letter

Always use auxiliary verb after “I”, if there is no main verb follows

Ex.

I go there (Main verb is GO, so “am” is not required

I am proud (“Am” is required, as there is no main verb)

 

Also Read:-

Editing the paragraph of Dawood Afridi 

Editing the paragraph of Israr Aslam 

 

Editing the paragraph of Israr Aslam

College is a place where students get higher education, but not all students aim to study there some become thugs and get themselves involved in bullying, bullying is said to be a crime because it doesn’t only disturbs students to concentrate on their studies but also changes the college to battle field environment. Bullying should be stopped so that colleges may become a safe place for students to get proper and quality education.

 

Very well written J but there are few minor mistakes

  • Never write “some” for countable nouns. WRITE “FEW”
  • Always write short sentences, separated by “commas” and “full stops”.
  • Never repeat the same word twice in a sentence. Use pronoun for it. (You repeated “bullying”)

Also Read:-

Editing the paragraph of Dawood Afridi 

Editing the paragraph of Yaseen and explaining mistakes

Editing the paragraph of Yaseen and explaining mistakes

 

Being honesty means to be chosen not to lie, steal, deceive, or deceive. When we are honest, we build the capacity building and allow us to serve Allah and the faithful and believing Allah. We are happy with the peace of mind and mutual respect, and we will be confident that the Allah and the faithful believers Of Allah.

 

 

 

Explaining the mistakes now

  1. “Noun” will come after “being” . “HONEST”  is the noun
  2. “To be chosen” not required
  3. Why you wrote “Deceive” twice?
  4. “Which” refers to the “capacity building” and it will be used

 

 

This is how, the final paragraph, should be

Being  honest means not to lie, steal, or deceive. When we are honest, we build the capacity building which allow us to serve Allah and its faithful. We are happy with the peace of mind and mutual respect we get, and we will be confident that the Allah and the faithful believers Of Allah will be pleased with us.

Read : Editing the paragraph of Dawood Afridi 

Editing paragraph of Dawood Afridi


Editing paragraph of Dawood Afridi (check the above image)

Great!!!

But, there are few mistakes

Now, I have edited the paragraph for you

Always write “the” before the superlative degree
Here,  Honesty is “the” best element  (don’t write “lucky person”)

Everyone respects the honest person and believes him (don’t write “what he says and do, the people recognize)

Honesty person always remain successful in every battle of life.

Read: Edited and explain the mistakes on the topic, what is life

Najma from Libiya is a university student and wants to contribute towards nation building

Najma is a young, motivated, energetic and highly inspiration lady from the beautiful, awesome and naturally beautiful place popularly known as Libiya

She is a university going student and has high respect for her leader Al Gaddafi. Besides being excelling in academics, she is also very polished and sincere towards taking extra – curricular activities.

She also loves watching football as it is a beautiful and highly energetic game

Note of Thanks

I wish you Najma , BEST OF LUCK for your future

Also Read : Yassen from Somaliland is a budding writer

Najma from Libiya is a university student and wants to contribute towards nation building

Najma is a young, motivated, energetic and highly inspiration lady from the beautiful, awesome and naturally beautiful place popularly known as  Libiya

She is a university going student and has high respect for her leader Al Gaddafi. Besides being excelling in academics, she is also very polished and sincere towards taking extra – curricular activities.

She also loves watching football as it is a beautiful and highly energetic game

Note of Thanks

I wish you Najma , BEST OF LUCK for your future

 

Also Read : Yassen from Somaliland is a budding writer