Zayyan Umar wrote about “Importance of Education” – You need improvement

 

Zayyan has beautifully written on the topic.

“”Importance of Education”.

Education is very important why because education is a something that deffirenciate between good and bad attititude or behaviour ,right and wrong attitude or behaviour just and injustance attitude or behaviour , otherwise what ever you wanna do in this word if u have an education u most deffirentiate with uneducated ,like business ,why becouse if you have an education u can write and u can read but if you are not educated man how can you write or read ? Also writing and reading is very important to business man, then education will help you to know the way commication with people

 

 

 

Excellent efforts put my Zayyan Umar

I want to say following things:-

  1. Never repeat the same word in a paragraph.

You repeated the word “behavior” 8 times.

2. You should know the spellings, learn them.
You made lots of sepelling mistakes

3. Don’t use “why” and “because” together

4. Never use “slang” words such as “wanna”

 

Rest is fine.

Now, read the below para. I have corrected it.

 

  • Edited by English Teacher

Education is very important because it differentiates between good and bad, right and wrong , just and unjust attitude or behaviour.

Whatever you want to do in this word if u have an education u can easily have your own place.

Because, if you have education u can write and u can read but if you are not an educated man then can you write or read ? Also writing and reading is very important to business man, education will help you to know the way of communication with people

 

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Yassen is a budding writer from Somaliland 

 

 

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